Episode 1: Anime Con
S: And so begins another adventure with Sars and Alexia!
A: Joy.
S: Cheer up! Today we’re going to an anime convention!
A: *sigh* Do I have to go?
S: Don’t you like anime?
A: Oh, I like anime. I don’t like you.
S: *WAH!* Why are you so mean to me?
A: Because I enjoy being mean to you.
S: *hug* I know you don’t mean that!
A: GET OFF VILE CREATURE!
S: *hugs tighter* But you’re my best friend!
A: *screams for help*
S: *evil laughter* There’s no one here to save you! Muahahaha!
~Later~
S: *tied up in the corner*
A: *smile* I think I will go to that anime convention. Goodbye. See you next time. *leaves Sars tied up*
Episode 2: New Friends
S: Today on The Adventures of Sars and Alexia, we have a new friend, Silvan!
Sil: Hi! *wave*
A: NO! She’s multiplying!
S: Don’t be silly. He’s my friend.
A: Last time you brought one of your ‘friends’ near me, she ended up nearly killing me!
S: It wasn’t that bad.
A: She fed me poisoned Jell-o!
S: What’s a little arsenic between friends?
A: *smacks Sars on the back of the head*
S: Ow!! Wah!! Silvan, Alexia is picking on me!
A: Baby. :P
S: Am not!
A: Are too!
S: No!
A: Yes!
S: No!
A: Yes!
S: No!
A: No!
S: Yes!
A: Ha! I knew you were a baby.
S: *goes to sulk in corner*
Episode 3: Wrongness…
S: Today on the AoSaA, we’re interviewing Naraku!
A: ARE YOU CRAZY?! YOU BROUGHT THAT CRAZY BASTARD HERE!
S: Yes!
A: *throttles Sars*
N: *cough cough* Are you going to interview me or not?
S: Yes we are! *jabs Alexia in the side* So, Naraku, what makes you so powerful?
N: I’m so powerful because my body is composed of hundreds of demons *evil laughter and eats a Mentos*
A: Right… Listen fruit cake, what’s up with the eye shadow?
N: It’s part of my demon markings. *shifty eyes*
A: Sure. And Sesshomaru isn’t gay…
N: SESSHOMARU ISN’T GAY?! I LET HIM SLEEP WITH ME, THE GREAT NARAKU AND THAT BASTARD LIED TO ME?!
A: I was being sarcastic…
N: Right!… *sweat drop* So was I.
A: Whatever *mutters* (fruit)
N: WHAT WAS THAT?!
A: IT WAS SARS! *runs*
S: *was playing with random plushie* Crap! *runs from Naraku*
Episode 4: What??
S: Welcome back!! You’ll be happy to know we got away from Naraku without a scratch!
A: *grumble* Speak for yourself.
S: We should tell everyone what happened!
A: Fine. So we were running from Naraku * Sars interrupts*
S: I want to tell the story!
A: Whatever.
S: Okay. So we were running and running and running and umm… WereantintothemagicalforestandthegiantpinkbunniesofDOOM!werethere.Sothenwecametothecliffthatleadstotheneverendingfall,sowethoughtweweredonefor,butweweren’t!BecauseatthattimeCerius(amagicflyingelf)cameandhegrabbedusandflewustohismagicfloatingcastleintheskyandthen
*Alexia grabs random object and bashes Sars in the head repeatedly with it*
A: SHUT UP! EVERYONE IS NOW STUPIDER FOR HAVING TO LISTEN TO YOU!
S: *sniffle sniffle* WAH! Cerius!
C: Yes!
S: Alexia was being mean again!
A: He can’t hurt me. He’s not real!
C: *throws fireballs at Alexia*
A: Okay… That was real enough! But I still have DEMON EYES KYO’S sword! Muahahaha!
C: AHHH!!!
S: Well looks like I’m ending it today because Alexia is beating the crap out of Cerius, so goodbye!! *leaves to
watch Alexia kick Cerius’ ass*
Episode 5: Miroku’s Pointy Staff Trick…
S: Today we have a special guest… Miroku!
A: *sigh*
S: What? No smart-ass comment?
A: I give up…
S: Okay… Anyway! Miroku here is the sworn enemy of Naraku. Why is that?
M: Well let me say first off that you’re quite lovely my dear Sars.
S: Ahh! *jabs Alexia* Isn’t he great?
A: He lies…
M: And you Alexia are looking lovely today.
A: Thanks.
M: *moves closer to Alexia* I’d like to thank you both for brining me on the show.
A: Monk, if you do not remove your hand from my posterior, I will break it off and make you eat it…
M: *rub rub* Whatever do you mean? *rub rub*
A: *grabs Miroku’s staff and beats him with it* There!
San: MIROKU!
M: Oh, no! Sango…
San: You perverted monk! You’ll pay for harassing these girls!
M: *runs*
San: GET BACK HERE!! *chases Miroku*
A: Well… That was interesting. Sango just caught Miroku, so I’m gonna go watch her beat him. BYE!
Episode 6: It’s not true!
A: Well, looks like I’m starting things to day. Welcome to the show. Today we have Lord Sesshomaru.
S: *is clinging to Sesshomaru* I love you…
Sess: Get it off!
A: Sorry bout that… *pries Sars off* She’s simple.
Sess: It’s okay. I have one just like her (Jakken).
A: A couple episodes back, Naraku claimed you two were sleeping together. Is that true?
Sess: Of coarse not!
N: Lying bastard!
Sess: Where’d you come from?
N: Admit it!
Sess: Never! It was between us!
N: But you’re sleeping with most of the guys on the show!
A: Is this true?
Sess: Yes!… I mean NO! Of course not!
S: NOOOOOOOO!! Sesshy’s gay! *cries*
N: Admit it you lying bastard!
Sess: Fine! I admit it! I also admit I’m leaving you for Miroku!
M: Hahahah!
N: That’s why I put the Wind Tunnel in your grandfather’s hand! Bastard!
San: I’m gonna kill you Miroku!
M: *runs from Sango… gets grabbed by her*
Sess: Get your hands off my man!
San: DIE SESSHOMARU!
A: *hiding under desk* I’m leaving now! See ya!
S: *in corner crying*
Episode 7: Taking Over The Show
S: Sesshy isn’t gay… Sesshy isn’t gay… Sesshy isn’t gay… Sesshy isn’t gay.
A: SHUT UP! *grabs Sars and shakes her* He’s gay! Get over it!
S: Never! He isn’t gay!!
A: He’s slept with Naraku, Miroku, Koga…
S: Koga was drunk!
A: That’s not the point! He’s slept with so many guys… He’s slept with guys from other shows!
S: NO!! WAH! *cries*
A: *gags Sars and ties her to a chair* I’m doing the show without you!
S: *muffled screams*
A: Now, back to the show.
M: *runs across the stage* Help me! Sango’s after me!
A: *knocks Miroku out and shoves him off the stage* As I was saying. Today we have…
San: Have you seen Miroku?
A: He’s on the floor over there. *points* Back to our guest…
N: Where’s Miroku?
A: Over there! Now our guest…
Sess: Where’d Naraku go?
A: *clenches teeth* Over that way!!!
Sess: *hurries after Naraku*
A: Now, as I was saying…
Random Person: Hey-
A: DAMN IT!! I GIVE UP! *leaves*
S: *muffled* Help… Help!
Episode 8: Confession
S: Welcome to another Adventure of Sars and Alexia.
A: Today we have Sesshomaru… Again?
S: YES! SESSHY’S BACK!
Sess: I’m here to make a confession…
A: Let me guess… You’re gay…
Sess: No… I’m a woman…
*silence*
*cricket, cricket*
S: What?
Sess: I’m a woman… So I’m not gay.
S: NOOO! *grabs Sesshomaru* BUT YOU HAVE TO BE GAY!
Sess: Get off! *pries Sars off*
A: Wow… Didn’t see that one coming…
S: WAH! Sesshy isn’t gay!
A: You were upset earlier because he was… Now you’re upset because he isn’t…
S: *shakes Alexia* But Sesshy’s a woman! So she has to be gay so I can molest her!
A: Right… Well that’s it for today. I’m leaving before someone else has a confession. *runs away*
Episode 9: Death to Sars
S: Today we’ve decided to take a little break so I could read some amazing literature for you. I have in my hands
Alexia’s journal. I’m going to read you the entries from the time we started the show until now.
Entry from Anime Convention:
”Dear Journal,
If it’s possible Sars has gotten even more annoying. I’m certain I can make her death look like an accident.
On the plus side the conventions was fun. How did Sars free herself though? The world may never know…
Alexia”
S: No, the world will never know. *evil laughter*
Entry from New Friends:
“ Dear Journal,
Damn Sars and her crazy ass friends. This one did seem okay, but after her psycho faerie friend I’ll never be the
same.
Alexia”
S: Ah, me and Aalu… Now those were the good times…
Entry from Wrongness:
“ Dear Journal,
I HATE SARS! THAT FREAKIN’ MORON bought Naraku on the show! NARAKU! I was almost killed. Damn that idiot Sars. She
is an idiot that should die!
Alexia”
S: For the record I’m not a moron or an idiot!
Entry from What???:
“Dear Journal,
………. Sars is a moron….
Alexia”
S: AM NOT!
Entry from Miroku’s Pointy Staff Trick:
“Dear Journal,
For being so damn perverted, that monk was hot. I might have taken him up on his offer to bear his children if Sango hadn’t
shown up.
Alexia”
S: Wow…
Entry from It’s Not True:
“Dear Journal,
For being such a big fat flaming homosexual, Sesshomaru is a sexy dog demon. I’d do him in a second. But he prefers
to play with his own kind rather than venture into unknown territory. Too Bad.
Alexia”
S: He ISN’T gay!!!
Entry from Taking Over The Show:
“Dear Journal,
I hate Miroku. I hate Sango. I hate Naraku. I hate Sesshomaru. They can all die…
Alexia”
S: I love SESSHY!!!
Entry from Confession:
“Dear Journal,
Wow. Sesshomaru is a woman. Wow. I was wrong, she has ventured into unknown territory… Territory of the men. It almost
makes me want to play in my own. Almost…
Alexia”
S: No one can resist the Sesshy-nessness!
Entry from Death To Sars:
“Dear Sars,
I know that you’re reading this and our loud nonetheless. I’m standing behind you with a knife. As I chase
you down and murder you, know that Jimmy Kudo is in town and will solve your case. If they find your body… If.
Alexia”
S: *closes journal* Well, that’s all for now. I’m going to run now! Bye! *runs*
Episode 10: All Hail The Almighty Roq!
S: I now call this meeting to order! This is the first meeting of the Faithful Minions Of Roq, Well Not Quite Roq, More
Like Laura, Roq’s Second In Command, But She Serves Roq, So We Do Too. Also known as TFMORWNQRMLLRSICBSSRSWDT!
Eeco: YAY!! Is there caramel cake?
S: No… Now is everyone here… Eeco…
Eeco: HERE!
S: Marie de La’Cour…
MDL: Salut! (French accent)
S: William III…
W: *sigh* ‘Ello (British accent)
S: Alexia!
A: Why the hell am I here?
S: Jacques!
J: Bonjour!
S: Aalu…
Aa: What the hell? *confused* (high pitched squeaky voice)
S: Ryoko, aka Sub!
R: Hello!
S: Marie Antoinette…
MA: Allo (French accent)
S: Okay everyone’s here! Now to elect officials. I’m President!
E: Vp?
A: Moron! You’re supposed to vote…
MDL: Treasurer!
MA: Secretary!
R: SUB!
A: Why do I even bother…
A: OK! Now I need suggestions as to how we can support Roq, well Laura, so therefore Roq!
A: The idiot used a big word. Be afraid! Be very afraid!
Laura: *enters* What the hell are you doing in my room?
S: *takes a deep breath and starts to explain*
L: Shut up! Get out…
S: But…
L: Out…
S: *too camera* We’ve been booted, so see you next time.
L: *looks to see no camera and is now even more confused*
